This is such a loaded statement. It means so much, whether we want it to or not. We have no idea how privileged we are sometimes, yet all we seem to do is complain. Today I found myself being a bit arrogant and nationalistic, although it was done unconsciously. Here's the story...
I had a tutoring session with a 23 year old girl today. She is working on her oral English because she has to take this big test in order to study abroad in Australia. Her English is quite good, and she comprehends most of what I say, but her pronunciation is a little off. Anyway, for these sessions I have to ask her interview type questions, and some of them happen to be quite difficult, quite deep. So...we got on the topic of the "one child policy," which led to multiple discussions about abortion, adoption, Chinese law, and finally morality. I was appalled at some of the things that I heard today, but I desperately tried to conceal my disgust with more questions and comparisons. Now here is where it gets a little tricky. I continued to compare America and China, as if they were equals...but the reality is, they're not. Josephine, the girl I was tutoring, had to remind me of this by saying, "Well, we can’t compare everything to America because China is still a developing country." And that's when it hit me! She's right!
At that moment, when my stomach started to eat my throat, I realized that I, despite my best efforts, was still trying to change China into America. That's the LAST thing I wanted to be doing here. I wanted to comfortably explore and indulge in Chinese culture, not American culture! In fact, I have a HUGE problem with people that try to do just that. Cultures are different for a reason. They are all unique and beautiful, and should stay that way. If all countries were the same, there would be no reason to travel. I discovered that I had bruised my own heart by falling into the same pattern that so many others had before me: pretension.
We, as American, have such high standards, that anything below that line is inexcusable, despicable, and immoral. Whatever adjective you choose to use to describe its iniquity...its still sub par. And in reality, we are arguably the best country in the world. This, in theory, means that all other countries are less privileged than we are. So...what gives me the right, for even one second, to look through my elitist, glossy, green American eyes, and judge the Chinese culture? Now I believe that it's one thing to judge an individual based on poor choices, but to judge an entire nation because their government doesn't agree with me on human rights? That's simply unfair.
I've tried so hard to be a spectator here, but it can get difficult at times. It can be so difficult not to impose your thoughts onto others. I mean, I'm an American! That's what we do! However, that's not what we're called to do. I think that I am lucky enough to be able to appreciate what I have been given. Not by choice, but by birth. I am a white, American girl that gets gawked at and envied everyday that I live in China. I am a white, American girl that has the opportunity to leave the States whenever I please, and go anywhere I please. I am a white, American girl that finds silly things to complain about everyday, even thought it was my choice to move here. I am a white, American, 23 year old girl that has seen half of the world, and still I have no idea how blessed I am to be a white, American girl.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
If this is a glimpse...
...Then i am happy. If this is a glimpse of what's to come this year, then i am blessed. If this is a glimpse, then life is good and the tough times are washed away by the continuous joy that pumps through my veins.
This year has been amazing so far...and the few days prior to the New Year. It all began on Tuesday. We had class as usual in the morning, but in the afternoon we were to have our annual New Year's celebratory performances. This consisted of a few students from each class (or most of the classes anyway) performing. Some did dances, some sang, others did skits, while a few even played instruments. All of the students not performing were responsible for bringing their stools outside to the blacktop, where the stage had been put together earlier in the day, and grouping themselves with their other classmates. Apparently i was supposed to judge the performances, but i weaseled my way out by saying that i was going to take pictures instead, and i would be sure to give the woman in charge copies (which i did :).
The performances were great, or at least great in the sense that we didn't have to sit inside dark classrooms for the rest of the afternoon. The actual dances probably could have been better...but then again you know those coordinated Chinese folk! Ha! It was fun though, and i cheered embarrassingly loud when my students performed. They liked it though. So for 3+ hours i froze to death, while taking photos, and laughing hysterically. It was a good day.
The next day, Wednesday, was the "party" day. All of the classes were going to have a party in the morning, and then the teachers were to have their party in the afternoon (so the students only has a half day of class). Now these student parties are quite different than the ones Americans are used to. We are used to having maybe cake and ice cream, or a pot luck even, in a supervised area with a few teachers...haha, not the same here. The students first of all, are forced to come to school to have a party, which is unsupervised, and (seemingly) completely organized by the students. They brought in decorations for the classroom, and food that they would like to have during the day, and rearranged the desks so that there was a "stage" area. Chinese kids love to perform, so many of them had schedules of performers. They love to do KTV, which in English is just karaoke, so just about all of the classes had mics and speakers hooked up, and the lyrics to every song were just a click away. Now i can honestly say i haven't laughed that hard in a while. They were hilarious!! AND almost every class made me perform too. Apparently if you come to a party, you have to take part in the party. As you all know, i have a horrible fear of performing, so it was tough, but i was able mustered the courage to sing a few really dumb songs, simply because they would have a clue what i was singling anyway. And i have to admit, it was fun.
The fist class that i walked into ruptured with cheering. They were so excited that i came into THEIR classroom, and all of them clapped and shouted something to the effect of "Happy New Year!" Of what i could understand anyway. As with most classes, each one has a different personality. Some are very serious, some are quite silly, some are terribly naughty, while others just make me laugh, a lot! So that being said, i tried to make it to all my classes before they were to clean up, but i only made it to 12 of 15, and i obviously spent the most time in my favorite classes. Then the kids quickly disbursed and went home for lunch.
That afternoon, all the teachers met on the blacktop so that we could have our party. This is what we did...we played tug-of-war, volleyball, and track events and we competed between the grades. WHO plays tug-of-war?!! My grade (2) was awful, but you couldn't help but have a good time. After all the fun and games we sat down to a decent dinner at our school's "canteen" and celebrated to New Year. Many of the male teachers got piss drunk, which is always pretty funny, and the rest of us just laughed at them. We were then told that we were going to have a dance party after dinner in the music room, but then only the old people showed up, so we left. Ha!
Alright, so onto today. We were invited to go to a BBQ with a class from grade 3, even though neither of us teach grade 3. Turns out that one of my classes also came, which was a pleasant surprise. We went to this beach, with actual sand, and made about 6 little bonfires. We cooked just about everything that was brought (lotus root, tofu, bananas, oranges, pork, chicken, etc.)had a huge feast on the sand. Everything had been skewered by the time we were finished eating, but that's just the way Chinese people eat anyway. After lunch, then everybody got a little crazy. This particular grade 3 class is know for being pretty rambunctious. Turns out i actually knew a lot of the students because they are the ones that are never in class, so i always see them outside when they should be elsewhere. None of them know any English, so its a constant battle to communicate with them, but i always attempt. They all know me as well. Today was fun because despite the lack of verbal communication, there were plenty of things said. At one point, about 6 boys tackled me and tried to carry me over to a pit they had dug. They didn't get very far because i tickled one almost to tears, and wiggled my way out of the grasps of the others. All the while cracking up.
Like i said, life can be hard and difficult some days, but times like these make up for all of that. I'm actually making a (hopefully lasting) impression on these kids, and giving them a taste of something new. An insight, or an experience that they wouldn't have had otherwise. A new perspective from which to look. I always hope that me being here is worth something, and on days like this i feel like it is.
This year has been amazing so far...and the few days prior to the New Year. It all began on Tuesday. We had class as usual in the morning, but in the afternoon we were to have our annual New Year's celebratory performances. This consisted of a few students from each class (or most of the classes anyway) performing. Some did dances, some sang, others did skits, while a few even played instruments. All of the students not performing were responsible for bringing their stools outside to the blacktop, where the stage had been put together earlier in the day, and grouping themselves with their other classmates. Apparently i was supposed to judge the performances, but i weaseled my way out by saying that i was going to take pictures instead, and i would be sure to give the woman in charge copies (which i did :).
The performances were great, or at least great in the sense that we didn't have to sit inside dark classrooms for the rest of the afternoon. The actual dances probably could have been better...but then again you know those coordinated Chinese folk! Ha! It was fun though, and i cheered embarrassingly loud when my students performed. They liked it though. So for 3+ hours i froze to death, while taking photos, and laughing hysterically. It was a good day.
The next day, Wednesday, was the "party" day. All of the classes were going to have a party in the morning, and then the teachers were to have their party in the afternoon (so the students only has a half day of class). Now these student parties are quite different than the ones Americans are used to. We are used to having maybe cake and ice cream, or a pot luck even, in a supervised area with a few teachers...haha, not the same here. The students first of all, are forced to come to school to have a party, which is unsupervised, and (seemingly) completely organized by the students. They brought in decorations for the classroom, and food that they would like to have during the day, and rearranged the desks so that there was a "stage" area. Chinese kids love to perform, so many of them had schedules of performers. They love to do KTV, which in English is just karaoke, so just about all of the classes had mics and speakers hooked up, and the lyrics to every song were just a click away. Now i can honestly say i haven't laughed that hard in a while. They were hilarious!! AND almost every class made me perform too. Apparently if you come to a party, you have to take part in the party. As you all know, i have a horrible fear of performing, so it was tough, but i was able mustered the courage to sing a few really dumb songs, simply because they would have a clue what i was singling anyway. And i have to admit, it was fun.
The fist class that i walked into ruptured with cheering. They were so excited that i came into THEIR classroom, and all of them clapped and shouted something to the effect of "Happy New Year!" Of what i could understand anyway. As with most classes, each one has a different personality. Some are very serious, some are quite silly, some are terribly naughty, while others just make me laugh, a lot! So that being said, i tried to make it to all my classes before they were to clean up, but i only made it to 12 of 15, and i obviously spent the most time in my favorite classes. Then the kids quickly disbursed and went home for lunch.
That afternoon, all the teachers met on the blacktop so that we could have our party. This is what we did...we played tug-of-war, volleyball, and track events and we competed between the grades. WHO plays tug-of-war?!! My grade (2) was awful, but you couldn't help but have a good time. After all the fun and games we sat down to a decent dinner at our school's "canteen" and celebrated to New Year. Many of the male teachers got piss drunk, which is always pretty funny, and the rest of us just laughed at them. We were then told that we were going to have a dance party after dinner in the music room, but then only the old people showed up, so we left. Ha!
Alright, so onto today. We were invited to go to a BBQ with a class from grade 3, even though neither of us teach grade 3. Turns out that one of my classes also came, which was a pleasant surprise. We went to this beach, with actual sand, and made about 6 little bonfires. We cooked just about everything that was brought (lotus root, tofu, bananas, oranges, pork, chicken, etc.)had a huge feast on the sand. Everything had been skewered by the time we were finished eating, but that's just the way Chinese people eat anyway. After lunch, then everybody got a little crazy. This particular grade 3 class is know for being pretty rambunctious. Turns out i actually knew a lot of the students because they are the ones that are never in class, so i always see them outside when they should be elsewhere. None of them know any English, so its a constant battle to communicate with them, but i always attempt. They all know me as well. Today was fun because despite the lack of verbal communication, there were plenty of things said. At one point, about 6 boys tackled me and tried to carry me over to a pit they had dug. They didn't get very far because i tickled one almost to tears, and wiggled my way out of the grasps of the others. All the while cracking up.
Like i said, life can be hard and difficult some days, but times like these make up for all of that. I'm actually making a (hopefully lasting) impression on these kids, and giving them a taste of something new. An insight, or an experience that they wouldn't have had otherwise. A new perspective from which to look. I always hope that me being here is worth something, and on days like this i feel like it is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
+108.JPG)